Ruminations of Mortality

Characters: Katia Santiago

Katia stood among the others on the observation deck and stared on in stony silence. The sadness and despair threatened to overtake her as she tried to force the dead out of her mind. The fact that one of the dead had been someone she knew, her commanding officer, did not help her sorrow. As the ceremony ended and the crew dispersed, she just stood there staring at the stars.

She had never wanted to come out here into space and live. She had never wanted to leave Earth. Her life, her family, her loves, (those that were still alive) were all still back there and she had nothing anymore she considered of any value. First her Uncle had died in the assassination, then her aunt’s heart had finally given up and died shortly thereafter, leaving Katia with one person to lean on, one person to support her, one person to understand her. And, that person had not been her husband, Nathaniel. General William Hague had supported her through all the rough times, given her a reason to fight back. And now, he was gone the way her Uncle had.

Katia turned slowly and exited the observation deck, barely noticing her surroundings as she made her way silently to her quarters for some rest. They had been on the White Star for many hours and still had no answers, only more questions. Kim and Katia had done the EVA and removed a portion of the organic hull and transported it back to the Phoenix. Katia had put it in storage until she had a chance to check it out personally. Which would be as soon as she laid down and slept. The time spent over on the WS had been exhausting, not only physically, but mentally as well, and she knew she would be useless if she tried to work on it now.

As she entered her quarters, her loneliness all came rushing back to her. She thought back on the times a couple years ago, before all had gone haywire and the Corps had found out her culpability in the plot to expose Clark. Life was simpler now, but she had no one to turn to, no one to count on. But she knew she would go on. Katia was nothing if not a fighter. And after finally owning up to the weaknesses in her life, it was time to move on. It just seems that death brings back ones vulnerabilities and mortality. It forces one to focus on those things we prefer to push out of our minds for the most part.

Katia lay down on her bed without undressing, and forced all thoughts out of her head and drifted instantly down to sleep, the dreams catching her in their web instantly, filling her head with ruminations of death and fear.

Copyright (c) 1998 Tamara Friese. All rights reserved.

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